September Update

Ah, September – the gateway month that transitions us into my favorite season. (I say every season is my favorite season once we’re in it, but transitioning months feel extra special to me!) The past couple of months have been wonderful, and while I have a number of different topics I’d like to write about in the next coming weeks, I wanted to take this week to catch up and get a few big changes and bunch of little updates written down.

First and foremost, my brother, Jani, received news of his acceptance into the Marine Corps and I couldn’t be happier for him. Long story short, his initial enlistment five years ago was promptly denied for irrelevant and arbitrary reasoning. Every year afterward, he would make another attempt to enlist only to get a little bit further each time and then denied in the end. His acceptance this year wasn’t the result of his consistent pursuit, however. They didn’t just decide, ‘okay, you’ve been asking for awhile – we’ll let you in now.’ Each year, he went above and beyond and worked so hard just to get a word in on why he should be accepted. I am so proud of him and I have to say, the timing of this couldn’t have been more perfect (and not just because he got the news on his birthday!) But the weekend before was the Conor McGregor vs. Floyd Mayweather fight. Being a huge McGregor fan, Jani put a couple hundred bucks on him down. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that my knowledge on boxing is virtually nothing, but I love McGregor as well. Every morning, Jani sends me a motivational Youtube video. We’ve been doing this for more than a year now and we listen to a lot of Conor McGregor videos. His perspective on visualization and thinking what you want into existence has inspired me so much, and when he lost, I felt like a lot of what I believe in was losing credibility. It sounds a little cheesy, I know… my boyfriend definitely poked fun at me when I expressed my disappointment after he lost, but nonetheless, I was upset. But then Jani got accepted and I felt like all my faith was restored. To me, those two situations go hand in hand, regardless of the different outcomes, because I know that Jani beat the odds against him by believing in himself and having the utmost conviction in his dream.

Recovery-wise, I’ve been doing extremely well the past couple of months. I started seeing a counselor, which I am truly beginning to recognize as a vital role in my recovery. It’s become more and more clear to me that recovery isn’t something a person can get through on their own. You just can’t. In my case, I spent years thinking that I had everything under control; that’d I’d be able to fix myself. Even when I would muster up some courage to reach out for help, it was always just one person. I was very careful in keeping my ED a secret, which proved to be exactly what my ED wanted (it’s a lot easier to relapse and go back to old habits when no one is aware). I’ve done so much for myself this year in terms of recovery, including practicing more yoga, meditation, and mindfulness, so it’s hard to pinpoint exactly which one is contributing the most to my progress, but I do know that seeking help (both professionally and through loved ones) and being more open about what I am going through (blogging) has helped tremendously.

Speaking of yoga – I’ve been trying to practice outside as much as I can before it starts to get too cold, and every single time I do, it will start to rain a little. Even if it’s gorgeous out, I’ll lay down for Savasana and start to feel the smallest raindrops on my skin. It’s uncanny and there’s something so cleansing about it. It’s as if the universe is saying, “keep it up! We’re just going to wash away any stress or anxieties you may be having.”

Lastly, I’m really proud of myself for staying on top of my goals and practicing what I love every day. Like, actually making time for my passions and my hobbies every day. I feel like there are so many people out there that haven’t discovered what they’re passionate about yet, even if it’s something as small as reading or baking, and when they do, they don’t make as much time to practice what they love. I am incredibly grateful to have as many passions as I do, so I will continue to make it a part of my everyday life. I really look forward to blogging more frequently as well, as it becomes more and more comfortable to me.

I’d also like to offer recognition to a couple of people that have been extra-inspiring  to me lately, and have been motivating me every day, even if they don’t know it!

Yoga Maris

Lindsay Rapp Art


Check them out!




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